But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or his stature because I have rejected him. Humans do not see what the Lord sees, for humans see what is visible, but the Lord sees the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7 CSB).
My husband recently demolished the rotting old shed in our back yard. Its crumbling walls had become home to a variety of local wildlife, including a colony of carpenter bees.
After several days of work, my husband finally completed demolishing the shed. Later that day, I went outside to see how things looked. After a few minutes of talking, I headed back inside.
As I walked away, a very angry carpenter bee attacked and stung me just above the eye! My eye swelled up pretty quickly. Then my thoughts went to the fact that I now had a very swollen eye. Why my face? This is not the look I normally go for!
By the next morning, my eye only opened about halfway. As I looked at my face, it occurred to me that at that moment, half my face reflected the part of me that the world sees, and half of it reflected the current state of my life.
In the days surrounding the bee attack, one of my children wrestled with a major decision regarding her future, one confessed significant struggles with her faith and the third also faced another very difficult situation. These situations also brought some longstanding family issues to light. All five of us were suddenly wrestling with difficult thorny issues.
The world normally looks at me and sees someone who looks put together.
People tell me I look like I have it all together. I always laugh when people say this.
They cannot see what goes on with my family, my children. They cannot see the struggles hidden by a nice haircut, a cute shirt and some makeup. They can’t see the struggles hidden behind each of my children’s eyes or my husband’s.
I don’t mean to suggest that we are living a godless dysfunctional life. We are not. What I do mean to say is that in looking on the outward appearance, the world misses the fact that we are walking around with a lot more wounds than just a swollen eye. We are one battle weary family.
While I’m glad I don’t go around looking a mess, I do wonder how our human inability to immediately see into the heart, distracts us from ministering to those around us with hurting hearts.
Just as people apparently look at me and think I have it all together, I look at others and do the same. What conversations and connections do I miss out on because of this? How many hurting people do I hesitate to reach out to because they appear to be doing quite well on the outside?
There is no perfect way to combat this. We are limited and cannot see into other’s hearts.
Those who know anything about the family life we live, know we have walked through one major storm after another, followed by yet more storms.
We have walked a thorny rocky uphill climb and at times that walk has been very lonely. We have faced a lot of challenges that many families do not face including learning disabilities, health diagnoses, unexplained health issues, autism, significant ADHD, serious mental health struggles and crises and once we even witnessed a shooting.
The world cannot see any of this from the outside. In fact, only our closest friends know the most difficult parts of our story. Even they can’t quite grasp the difficulty and pain of our lives at some points.
God can see our lowest points and struggles and grasp the gravity of them. He cares deeply about us. We know that He has not rejected us, as he rejected David’s older brothers.
He has been our constant companion along this arduous journey. While there have been many sleepless nights, tears and difficulties, we have truly seen that He does lead us beside still waters. He has prepared many feasts for us in the valley in the presence of our enemies. We have learned to seek Him deeply through prayer and time in Scripture. We have learned to seek the comfort of our brothers and sisters in Christ, those who follow the Lord closely and will not only lift us up in prayer but care for us in practical ways too.
The world cannot see most of our struggles by looking at our faces. However, when we keep things hidden, others cannot lift us up in prayer or minister to our needs.
I wonder what our faces would all look like if the world could see reflected in our faces what our lives truly look like on the inside. What difficulties do we hide? What are we not free to share?
While our struggles do not reflect those of a people without hope or living without God, many people’s struggles do. How can we present a more honest picture of ourselves and in doing so help to reach the world?
